Angie Larrison
SSM Network Finance

On March 11, 2009 I began my journey working for SSM and met what I now know as my SSM Family of co-workers. In getting to know the many wonderful people that I work with, the compassion and respect that I had learned of in my orientation was evident in everyone around me. I was delighted to finally be in a position where I truly love coming to work. There were many days that I had where there were stories of laughter and tears that I would always share with my sister, Jenny. She would from time to time ask me “How is work going?” I always knew what she meant, she did not want to hear about the papers that I push or the calculator I clunk. She wanted to hear the stories of the sharing that we do here in SSM Network Finance. We all share our stories of life to lift each other and help one another in happy and in sad times. I have held an ear or two sharing my life story over the last few years, and I’d like to share it with you in the hopes that it will encourage you to be to your co-workers what SSM strives to be in our communities.

My story began in the summer of 1985, our family moved to what seemed at that time to be the deserted town of Mojave, located right in the middle of the San Bernardino and Tehachapi Mountains in Central Valley California. My Dad had been transferred from Los Angeles to Mojave with the Department of Water and Power; my mom, sister and I were in for a long haul. Little did we know our lives were forever going to change after we had made this move:  in September of the same year my Dad became ill. I could not honestly tell you what began to happen that made his doctors discover his illness as I was only 10 years old. I do remember how scared they seemed to be when they sat Jenny and me down to tell us that in just a few short months, he would be leaving us to see the Lord. My Dad was a 275 lb. man that died less then 5 months later at only 87 lbs. on February 8th, 1986. This loss left my mother, sister and me feeling very abandoned and scared. Thank goodness for all of the wonderful people at the Department of Water and Power for helping with his services and getting us back on our feet after his passing. Later to find out that an emergency surgery in 1981 (before blood donors had been tested) had left him HIV positive after a transfusion from losing to much blood when his spleen ruptured. This was the reason for his sickness and ultimate death from the pneumonia that filled his lungs. Being “Daddy’s little girl”, this left a huge hole in my heart.

Three years later, living as normally as we could in that small desert town, my mother had met my step father. We had lived happily and healthy for many years. In April of 1995, life brought me to the St. Louis area where I have built a life for myself and my two boys (Now 17 and 14). Shortly after my relocation though, it was made known to me that my mother and step father had also been found to be HIV positive. For many years after this, precautions were taken along with many medications that kept them healthy and living very full lives. It was in November of 2006 that my mother was diagnosed with Cancer and her little body was not able to keep up with her amazing spirit anymore. Unknowingly, the last few months of her life were spent volunteering at local schools in Mojave passing out the free dictionaries that she had raised money for. On February 11th, 2007 she lost her battle with HIV/Cancer.  My sister and I had to bond together to see God’s purpose in the taking of both of our parents at such a young age. After all, our father was only 31 and we buried our mother on her 53rd birthday.

Even though miles apart, Jenny still being in Mojave and me here in St. Louis, we stayed very close, talking on the phone almost daily to keep up with each others lives. It was only 5 short months later that I received a call from her letting me know that my step father had been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Just two days later I was making my way across the country again to plan services for his death as well. The loss of my mother had taken its toll on him and he had since given up and literally drank himself to death in sorrow over her passing. Still trying to see his plan for us, Jenny and I continued with faith that God had plans for us that neither of us quite understood.

We still spoke on the phone frequently and kept in touch via Facebook and e-mail daily. I thought that my sister and I had a bond that could never be broken. I had often joked with her and those around me that we had recently been orphaned. Always trying to find ways to lighten things up, maybe this was no laughing matter for her. The bandages on her heart were apparently much bigger than she let on. On November 2, 2011 I was at the gym and received a very upsetting phone call that my sister had tried to harm herself. She had just been taken from her house via ambulance on the way to the location where a helicopter was to meet her. She was stabilized while in route to the hospital, but she lost her life shortly after her arrival. I of course flew home the very next day to assist my brother-in-law with the things to come. No answers were left behind, I had just talked with her on the phone the night before. We were both anticipating my trip home for Thanksgiving only three weeks after our phone call. There are no words for the pain that I felt in the short weeks after returning from making her arrangements. There are still good and bad days to be had out of the losses that I have experienced, but I know I will continue to live on and survive.

Many blessings came from SSM to my sister’s husband and I. Very comforting and encouraging words came via phone, text and through Facebook messages from my many co-workers who cared enough to take that minute to pass along those kind words that kept us going each and every day. I appreciate all that they have done and will continue to do to support me and my family through the many firsts to come this year. I pray each of them peace and happiness in their own lives as well.

Having the wonderful spirit of my co-workers around me every day is such a blessing. It is through the compassion and strength of them that I am able to continue on and keep faith that I will see the plans that God has for me some day. They have inspired me to keep on living and learning through the pain of it all. The more that I know is the more that I grow, and I will learn and grow from every experience in my life, good or bad.

It was not long ago that we here at SSM were asked as departments to come up with our “Team Charter”, yet another one of those silly things that the SSM Leadership team comes up with to keep us busy (or so we thought). What we found when we got together to discuss it was truly amazing. All we had to do was put into words what we have all been doing naturally. One specific thing that comes to mind that is in our charter is this “We are a support group to our co-workers in life events”.  And yes, I say that I truly live within a support group everyday. When one laughs, we all laugh and when one cries, we all cry. I am truly blessed to have found my SSM family, I encourage each and everyone reading this to find the family within our organization and keep it sacred. I also challenge other departments to be teams and families for one another. You may even, right at this moment be touching some ones life and not even know it. I am just one person in one department in an entire organization, but I am excited and proud to call myself part of the excellence that our SSM Leadership Team strives to build each and every day.