Family is everything to Adam Hanks. He and his wife, Sara, are college sweethearts and the loving parents of two active little girls. So when they learned their first pregnancy was facing serious complications, it’s no surprise that Adam did everything he could to make sure his family would be taken care of.
When the couple first found out about the pregnancy in December 2012, they were thrilled. As first-time parents, they immediately began dreaming of their child’s future and all the fun things their family would do together. Only a few months later, the Hanks received devastating news.
When the Hanks went to their 16-week ultrasound in March 2013 they were excited to learn the gender of their baby — a boy they would name Luke. During the ultrasound, they learned more than the gender, their doctor noticed some abnormalities, and referred them to SSM Health Cardinal Glennon St. Louis Fetal Care Institute for additional testing. There, the team confirmed that Luke had an omphalocele (abdominal wall defect) and several cysts in his kidneys, as well as very low levels of amniotic fluid.
Follow-up visits revealed no chromosomal genetic issues, but determined that the problems with Luke’s kidneys were worsening. The dangerously low levels of amniotic fluid would inhibit lung development, which would make it impossible for Luke to breathe.
“We were as broken as a person can be, but through it all we tried to keep an open mind,” Adam says, adding that the couple turned to their family, faith and his passion for research to guide them through this impossible time.
The Hanks also relied on the team at the Cardinal Glennon St. Louis Fetal Care Institute for ongoing care and support. There, Adam says, the team patiently answered all of their questions in a way that let them hold on to hope and make a plan for delivery. They also helped them explore the possibility of groundbreaking research options around the country.
“We knew in March that there wasn't really a chance of viability after delivery, and at times it felt hard to move forward” Adam says. “The team at the St. Louis Fetal Care Institute is there to support the parents, and that’s what they did for us during a difficult time.”
At 32 weeks and 5 days, Sara went into labor. The couple was 70 miles away in their hometown of Centralia, Illinois, and worried that traffic and terrible storms would keep them from reaching the Cardinal Glennon St. Louis Fetal Care Institute team at SSM Health St. Mary’s Hospital - St. Louis in time. Fortunately, they did, and the delivery team was waiting to leap into action when they arrived.
“We had lots of people coming and going, and when it was almost time, they prepared us for what would happen,” Adam says. “He’s going to be delivered, then the neonatologist will check him and assess him. If there’s any chance at life, he’ll be taken to the NICU, and we’ll go from there. If they give him back, that means they’ve done their assessment, and his condition is not compatible with life, and then it will just be the three of us, for as long as we need.”
Adam describes the delivery, and the hours that followed, as incredibly peaceful. When the team handed Luke back just moments after delivery, “he was perfect,” Adam says.
“My worry was that they would take him, and we would leave,” Adam says. “I didn’t know what would happen.”
Instead, nurses kept Luke warm with rice packs, and Adam and Sara were able to hold him all night long, while Luke's grandparents and other family members came to meet the newborn baby. The Cardinal Glennon St. Louis Fetal Care Institute team helped arrange a baptism in the room, and gave the parents a place to hold their son and read him a book, “Guess How Much I Love You.”
When the nurse could no longer find Luke’s heartbeat, Adam says he expected to feel angry.
“I’ve never experienced anything like this before,” he says. “I thought it would be tearful, mad and angry, devastated, sad. Instead, peace is what I felt. It felt like God was with us.”
Adam says that throughout the experience, he and his wife were incredibly touched by the caring compassion displayed by everyone they encountered during their time at SSM Health St. Mary’s Hospital, from the nurses to the dietary services staff.
“It was handled so well, it could not have gone better,” he says. “We talked with friends who had lost a baby and were prepared for the worst. We had a completely different experience.
“At the Cardinal Glennon St. Louis Fetal Care Institute, we knew exactly what to expect. We were well-informed, we knew exactly what was happening and why. They went above and beyond.”
Adam says that he and Sara have been together for a long time, and he knows his wife is a worrier. But, he freely admits, he struggled through this pregnancy, too.
“I want other dads to know it’s okay to ask for help,” Adam says. “Sara is a worrier, and I had to watch her go through this, I had to worry about her health, and so I tried to stay strong for her while also doing all I could to find an answer for our family.
“When I was alone with my thoughts, I struggled.”
Seven years later, Adam says some days are still harder than others, but that opening up to his wife makes it easier to cope.
These days, the Hanks have their hands full with daughters Addison, 5, and Aftyn, 2. Shortly after Luke’s birth, the couple met with the genetic counselor at Cardinal Glennon St. Louis Fetal Care Institute to confirm that future pregnancies would not be at risk of a genetic condition.
“When we found out we were pregnant with Addison and the team at Cardinal Glennon St. Louis Fetal Care Institute gave us the news that she was healthy, we were just thrilled to finally be in St. Louis with some good news,” Adam recalls. “Sara insisted on stopping at the Buy Buy Baby in Maplewood, and when she found the nursery set that was called ‘Addison,’ she just had to have it all. We were so happy and crying, people at the store had no idea what was going on, and we got to share this story about our baby and her brother in Heaven.”
Although his time on Earth was short, Luke’s legacy lives on. The Hanks launched Luke’s Gift, which encourages people to pay it forward with random acts of kindness. From the organization’s Facebook Page:
“Luke's Gift is a way we can honor Luke by compassionate people from all over. It's doing something for someone else. It's helping them when you think they need something, whether it be their bill paid at a restaurant, the fast food line for lunch, fixing someone's flat tire, or a nice tip to a tired waitress or waiter. Whenever you feel like doing something nice to help someone do it and when you do use this Luke's Gift card. If you don't have a Luke's Gift card just write it down to someone "In Honor of Luke - Luke's Gift." Maybe one day a Luke's Gift card will show up for you!”
Adam estimates that more than 15,000 cards have been handed out in 41 states and eight countries. The family also offers a scholarship, which has grown to support as many as 20 students each year. For the Hanks, it’s these little things that are keeping Luke’s memory alive.
The family also keeps Luke’s memory alive in more private ways. Each year on June 17, Luke’s birthday, they go to a nearby Dairy Queen and purchase a $200 gift card to treat other diners in the drive-through line. In her free time, Sara counsels parents around the country who are in similar situations.
What does Adam recommend for other dads? Prayer, and a promise not to be bitter.
“It’s easy to get bitter,” he says. “It’s easy to say, ‘Why Luke? Why me?’ But I remember holding him and saying, I will not be bitter. You mean too much, you’re mine, and we’re not going to act like that. We were blessed to have our Luke for 52 minutes. He was a fighter, and his mom and I loved, kissed and held him tightly every second we were blessed to have with him.”
