Studies show that our close friendships and our ability to maintain them can have a profound impact on our health and happiness and strengthen our sense of belonging and purpose. In good times, a true friend celebrates with us and in bad times, offers emotional support.
People with deep, enduring friendships report greater levels of happiness and self-confidence while experiencing less stress. Traumas such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one happen to all of us. Those storms are easier to withstand with a good friend beside us. And we all need someone willing to be honest with us when we need to change. Some truths are best received when a good friend lovingly tells us what we need to hear.
“I’m a serious proponent of friendship,” says SSM Health family physician Dr. Roopa Shah. “Adults with strong social connections have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI). In fact, studies have found that older adults who have meaningful relationships and social support are likely to live longer than their peers who have fewer connections.”
Research also shows it’s good for you to have work relationships or acquaintances. Thinking about joining a book club or civic organization? There is a benefit to having a wide range of social connections with people who have similar interests.
“You never know where or how you will make a new close friend. Looking to others who have similar interests and values can provide similar benefits and offer a new opportunity to develop a close relationship with others,” says Dr. Shah.
For folks who have felt distance grow in their social relationships over the course of the pandemic, Dr. Shah says there are a number of ways to strengthen social bonds.
“Even if it feels awkward, I’d encourage you to reach out to a good friend who you’ve drifted from over the years. Try sending a quick email or text or call to try to connect again. Checking in and getting together is a great first step to rekindling a friendship after an extended break.”
While it sounds easy to give someone a call or text, recognize that everyone experienced the past few years differently, so offer some grace and understanding if your friend is not in the same frame of mind that you are. It’s possible that some old friends may not be as eager to get together right away. Their interests, priorities and values may have changed. If that’s the case, it’s also okay to let go of a relationship that no longer makes you feel good.
If you are looking to establish new friendships, start looking for organizations, events or activities that interest you like gardening clubs or faith-based groups. By trying something new, you’ll gain more opportunities to meet new people and make new connections.
