“Sometimes in tragedy, we find our life’s purpose. The eye sheds a tear to find its focus.” - Robert Breault
Forty-eight years ago, Jim and Jennifer McKelvie received devastating news from their OB/GYN.
“He had tears in his eyes and said, ‘your baby is doing fine in the womb, but he’s not going to live long,’” Jim recalls. “So, we carried him to term knowing that our baby would not live.”
The McKelvie’s son, Patrick Shannon, died shortly after being born at SSM Health St. Agnes Hospital in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. During that time, stillborn babies were taken away directly after birth, so the grieving parents never saw, held or said goodbye to their baby.
“It wasn’t the closure you’d want most parents to have,” Jim said.
After 48 years, that loss is still ever present in their hearts and minds. So, when Jennifer saw an advertisement for a device that helps preserve a baby after passing, the couple knew they had to act. In memory of Patrick, the couple donated a Cuddle Cot to SSM Health St. Mary’s Hospital – Madison to provide grieving families with what they’ll never have enough of – time with their infant.
“I just started crying,” Jennifer said. “What if we would have had this? How this would have helped us.”
A Cuddle Cot is a cooling device that helps preserve an infant's body for up to five days after death. In turn, families are allowed more time with their infant as they begin the grieving process. The cooling mattress is placed in a regular bassinet so babies who pass away can remain in the parents’ room for the duration of their stay without having to involve the morgue in any way.
“A Cuddle Cot is there to allow the baby to be at the parents’ bedside,” said Brandi Hoesley, RN in the NICU at St. Mary’s Hospital – Madison. “We are grateful and honored to have received the cot and to be able to give parents the gift of time to make those memories.”
Parents can wrap the babies in the cooling blanket, touch them, cuddle them and tell them they love them, Jennifer said.
“It doesn't take away the hurt, and you don't forget,” Jim said. “What it does do is give closure.”
