The events that unfolded earlier this week in Texas have left many of us saddened and scared. Schools are a place our children should feel safe. It’s a tragic event that has many asking a lot of questions, including: How do I talk to my child about what happened?
SSM Health Child Psychiatrist Bhawani Ballamudi, MD, says reassurance and making kids feel safe in their own environment is the key. Hearing about the events from a trusted adult is the best way to bolster that sense of safety.
“It’s important to create an open and supportive environment for the kids to ask questions,” says Dr. Ballamudi. “Be patient, as the questions may come back again and again as the kids are making sense of the tragedy in their own realities.”
Be honest when talking with your kids. Try to keep the information simple, factual without excessive emotion or drama.
“Kids react more to the emotion sometimes than to the contents of the conversation,” according to Dr. Ballamudi. “It’s OK to show that you are sad but monitor your own emotional intensity as you speak to your child.”
Here is a list of other important things to keep in mind when talking to children about tragedies, such as the recent school shooting.
- Keep the explanations developmentally appropriate and age specific. The younger the child, the more generic you need to keep the conversation.
- Acknowledge and validate children’s feelings, emotions and reactions, and let them know it’s normal to have these emotions.
- Kids tend to personalize the experience and worry about their own situation. Let them know that there are a lot of nice people who are there for them to talk to.
- Avoid excess exposure to TV news and media coverage about the shooting. Kids sometimes do not understand if this is repeated coverage or if there has been another incident.
- Remind them of the safety protocols their school follows that would prevent intruders from coming inside.
- If possible, talk about your/their involvement and efforts to make the community a safer place for everyone.
Children are quite resilient, and most will return to their normal activities and personality fairly quickly, but parents should be alert to any signs of anxiety that might suggest that a child or teenager needs more assistance.
“Seek professional help if your child is struggling with sleep problems, is excessively clinging to you, refuses to go to school or has intrusive thoughts or fears about going out in public,” says Dr. Ballamudi.
SSM Health has resources available to help. If you are concerned about your child’s well-being, first contact your child’s physician. Your child’s physician will be able to determine if another talk with one of our SSM Health specialists, dedicated to helping children through difficult conversations such as these, is appropriate.
Learn more about our available services: ssmhealth.com/behavioral-health
